Thursday, July 24, 2008

- Over -

July has almost passed and things have changed.

Have not been on the blogosphere at all since my last post, lots of worries and things to take care.

Not feeling like writing right now.

Will be back soon with news and explain what happenned for the past weeks.

Still need time away for now, but will try to read you to cheer me up a little.

See you soon.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Shit happens... C'est la vie

Last Tuesday, I finally took care of the forwarding of my mail to my new address. It is very simple, for 22€, La Poste will forward the mail and parcels that arrive to your former address to your new one, during 6 or 12 months, how practical!

We also took care, with my mom, of the renting of a commercial car for one day to be able to move my stuff to D.'s place. I gave my new address to many administration offices. Things were going well.

On Tuesday evening, when D. got back from his work day, we chatted on MSN when suddenly we wanted to "talk seriously". That never forecasts good things. And it did not.

To sum up, D. has been doubting about moving in together, he thinks it has gone too quickly and need time to think about it and suggested me to finally look for a place... 3 weeks before I was supposed to move in and before we have to let the apartment available for the new owners.

He prefers to stay as we are for the moment and later if it is still going well, we (he?) could reconsider living together.

I cannot tell you how shocked, angry, sad, disappointed and lost I got in a couple of minutes!
For the rest of the evening and the whole day after, I have been hating him for doing that to me NOW. I hate him for making me be a fool to my friends and relatives to whom I will have to tell what is going now. That is just not fair!

My feelings are still upside down but I have had time to think and try to organize myself differently.

I have spent all Wednesday back on apartment renting ads, called 30 people, 20 to 25 apartment are already rented after only 2 or 5 days on the Web. I also let messages on cellphones answering machines.

So far, I have had three answers and appointments to visit apartments. I had planned to spend the night at D.'s place on Thursday so it was practical to go and visit a studio in the same town.

What were the chances that the building is 5 minutes by foot away from the barracks and D.'s place!

It is nice, brand new (the building was finished a month ago), with a large bathroom but quite small (30m²), in a neighborhood I stated to know, with only a little "kitchen" space and on the ground floor, the only window looking out on the street.

Tomorrow, I will go and visit a one bedroom apartment in another two of the close suburb, in the south of Paris. So it is further away from D., my mom and all my friends but close to my dad's. It is on the 4th floor without elevator (sport is good for me!), it's a 43m² (wow!) with an independent kitchen (nice!). Now, I just need to see it in real, see if I like it, like the neighborhood I do not know. See if I prefer to have a smaller place near D. in a town I already know a little or far away in a bigger place...

I will also visit another one on Monday. I also have a job appointment for a temp job (four months) in the "far away" suburb on Tuesday. That would mean 2h-2h30 of transportation everyday but the job seems nice, will see how it goes.

Now, I will have to - in French we say digérer (digest) this new trial and especially, the fact that it is being inflicted by the man I love.