Tuesday, April 22, 2008

How to Meet(ic) Mr Mystic - Part 2

I went to check my emails on Meetic and Match and one of them caught my attention.

It was short, sweet, well written, seemed sincere and the man on the profile picture also looked nice.
It was saying something like that: "after few months on this Website, I was disappointed and about to cancel my registration but then I found you and you made my day, I'm glad I came through your profile on time and hope to hear from you..."

I answered the day after, we talked on MSN and met the week after for coffee. It went very well, we were both glad and exchanged text messages in the evening. We met the following week for a drink and then he invited me to spent the Sunday afternoon in... Saint-Germain-en-Laye - rings a bell?, what were the chances?... - because he lives near this town. We had a delighted sunny afternoon, hanging around, having a drink on a terrace. He had a dinner in the evening so he drove me back to the train station, as the train was coming and he was already late, we just had the time to exchange few words about seeing each other later when he suddenly leaned towards me and kissed me...

After that, we had a very good month of June, I met some of his friends, spent whole weekends chilling out, had nice moments together and I had to leave for a summer job in early July, for about ten days, in Malta, as a French leader taking care of teenagers during a linguistic trip.

We were both very sad but I would be back soon. I don't know if there is a special air over there, if it was the heat, the fun of the job, the partying I had never done before in my life or meeting bunch of French and Maltese young people but after a few days, I kind of forgot about my boyfriend I had been talking about and was very sad to come back, as other French leaders. Not sad as when you come back from vacation but really sad and wishing so hard I could stay or even leave French to go and live there as I always wanted to move abroad.

When I came back, I gave as an excuse that I was sick, because I felt weird and not able to face my boyfriend yet. I was going to one of my cousin's wedding in the south of France and it let me some time to think about it.

It turns out that we didn't see each other for two months after that. I was still not feeling well, not totally understanding my state myself, I was very depressed because I couldn't find a suitable job and felt useless, I was not happy in my life and needed a way out. I got a ten-day way out but the thing is that it ended too soon and being back to reality was too hard to bear.

I dated nine men in my life (one twice) and if it didn't ended because we had met in holidays or so, I got dumped, taken for a fool and/or cheated on. This is why I have a hard time being confident about a healthy love life and having trust in guys in general.

For the first time, it seemed I had met a very good guy and I let him go, I still don't know why. I happen to think about the reasons I just explained above but I don't know if they are the real reasons...

Was it too perfect that it scared me? Was I too depressed to go on with this nice relationship?
For the first time, I got to be the bitch and no the victim, and it doesn't feel good either, it may be worse.

He and I met again in December for drinks but it wasn't the same, we were just friends.
We met again in January and started dating again... for two weeks.
I think I was just missing being in a relationship but we were not missing each other as lovers, but as friends. The love feelings had gone away. And anyway, something was broken forever. We could not catch up the magic of last June.

I believe in fate and sometimes think that, if this happened, it's just that we were not made to spend more time together. But I hope I'm made to spend some (long) time with someone.

I was so confused, I wanted to stop thinking about dating at all for a while. It's been three months now and I really miss it, being in a couple, especially when all my friends except one are either married/getting married/parents/living with their partner/in a relationship.

I know he has a new girlfriend - we was quite quick on that and it strangely hurt me - but I still have some of my stuff at his I need to go and get. I should do it and move on.

I've been back on Meetic and Match for a little more than a month - my registration was still on so that I would not have to pay to go back there but I had erased all my profile information - but nothing has happened yet. Can't find anybody I would like to meet and who I'm attracted by.

I've been even more difficult in finding a man I like, I don't spend much time on the dating Websites, I use the research stuff once in a while only, I received lots of emails but have not been touched by any of them so far, the whole thing is already annoying me. Let's hope I won't miss the right one, but when?

N.B. dating Websites sometimes bring you nice surprises. I only met one guy from Meetic, last June. We have been getting along well but are not interested in dating each other, so we became friends. We don't see each other a lot because we don't live very close but we have the passion of the moto in common (even if he doens't ride any moto for the moment because of an accident).


zero said...

It's just a matter of time.
Don't worry, soon someone will come along and you known he's the right one.

Marianne said...

I think it's great you're giving it another chance, it's good to be open to every opportunity. You never know when love will strike! x M

Marjolein said...

By the sound of it, he just wasn't right for you. It took me quite a long time to hook up with my boyfriend. We had been friends for about a year before I finally made a move om him... That was over 4 years ago. It's all about meeting the right person and you can't rush that. You'll meet someone, I'm sure of it. :)

Penelope said...

It's matter of time and effort and sometimes luck! The chemistry is so important in these matters..xx

Frogmae said...

Thanks all for your comments! ;)

Hello Zero, thanks for stopping by.

Wish I could understand some Greek again to read your blog but it's been a while since I heard or read it...

zero said...

Don't worry my dear.. many times i make my posts in English.
I enjoy your blog too.
Have a nice day.
Don't worry about love... love is on it's way.

Onadrought said...

Good on you for giving it a go and being honest about it. I've tried it too here in Australia, but I've realised that I actually like being single. But that takes getting used to. I am sure you'll meet a great guy, but in the meantime savour your single life, a great time to learn about yourself.
Bonne chance!

Frogmae said...

Thanks Onadrought.
I do appreciate my single life but I also begin to miss being in a couple... this is why I'm going slowly with the dating websites, don't want to push it... meeting a nice person will come when it's time! ;o)

I've visited your blog a few days ago and it's actually very interesting. I'll come back to read more!