Monday, April 28, 2008

Men are cowards

There, I said it.

I don't like generalities but that's a fact. They don't like to talk, to talk about their feelings, to talk about problems. At least, according to my personal experience.

Not that my love life is an interesting issue but let me give you some explanations.

Guy #3: dated in High School. Sent a friend of his to tell me my boyfriend thought we were not getting along at best.

Guy #6: we met during a summer job in June, he has just broken up with his 3-year relationship girlfriend (I was not aware of the length of it). We dated for about a month before I left for the South of France to work as it was planned. While I was away, he suddenly stopped calling and answering the phone. Later, he explained that he had met again his ex, they had talked a lot and he thought he still had feelings for her. We met once again but we were not alone so we couldn't talk about THE issue. I didn't have news after that for a long time. A friend of his I had also met through this summer job, told me he thought he was back with his ex-girlfriend. Nice! [to follow]

Guy #7: met at Univ., dated for about 3 years and a half. It was not going very well for the last year but we (I?) wanted to make it work, I tried to talk about it because I had the feeling it was going nowhere. He always said "we will talk about it after our final exams, I don't want to mess everything up right now". His favorite answers were "I don't know" and "we'll see about that later". Instead of talking he preferred cheating on me (once or several times). I learnt about it a day after I finally broke up in July 2006, through a friend of his (that is no longer his friend because of that). I didn't want to hear about him for a while. Now, we are just in touch through Facebook but I never talk about my love life because as soon as I dated someone else after him, he called me a slut. Last year, when he suspected I had a new boyfriend, he went all jealous. He can't bear that I've been moving on. Now, he wants us to have a drink someday.

Guy #8: I met him first in 1997, in a Clud Med in Tuscany. We met again 9 years later, in August 2006. He came to Paris, then I came to where he lives in Italy. We dated for as long as we were together. We said that we would try to see each other afterwards, we didn't know how but we would manage about something. About a month later, back home, I wanted to plan a weekend there but he would never answer my emails. When we finally succeeded to talk on Internet, he told me he never promised anything, that his last year of studies was very important and that he preferred to stay single for the moment, that it would be too difficult to deal with a long-distance relationship. He didn't even want to try. Now, we get along as friends and he still regrets it.

Guy #6 - round 2. A year after we had met, I received a text message from him. At first, I didn't want to hear about him but I was dating guy #7 so my feelings were all gone and I didn't fear anything at that time. We stayed in touch after that message. We saw each other twice in two years and a half, it was friendly. In early 2006, when my couple was almost dead, we met and I almost fell for him, he was single, but I was not and was too serious and honest and wanted to make my couple work (what a fool!). Six months later, in summer 2006, I went to spend a week at his place, he has been living in the South of France for few years now, for work. When I planed the trip, I was still dating my boyfriend and he also had a girlfriend (in Paris), so it would be friendly and didn't think about anything else. But, when I arrived I was single and being together brought back memories and we started flirting. As soon as I wanted to talk about it, he said that I had been imagining things (I surely was not according to his attitude), that he still liked me a lot but that he was in love with his girlfriend, ouch! That hurted a lot! We managed however to have a nice end of week. Since then, his girlfriend came to live with him, we didn't have the occasion to meet again but when we talk on Internet, there is still something, some flirting. Lately, he even told me that he had been thinking about how it could have been if he hadn't been such an jerk the first time, etc. Yeah, so wasn't I right about his filrting?

Back to the present time. I didn't talk about it but I began to talk on Internet with a guy I found interesting (from Meetic), we were getting along and I wanted to ask him for a drink someday, virtual talk is okay for some time, but after three weeks of getting to know each other, I wanted to move forward. He has never been back on MSN so far, I can see he's still online on Meetic but no answer to my emails.
Men, if you're not interested, at least have the courtesy and honesty to say you finally don't want to go further, that you met someone else, anything, but talk and explain!!

Men, you're supposed to have balls, but when it comes to feelings, to relationships and future, you seem to have lost them.

My long relationship boyfriend used to say that I had balls, well, indeed I got used to take decisions and initiatives.

A relationship is made of two people, I learnt it and keep saying it to my friends: the best way to solve a problem is to talk.

Silence will never solve anything and being a coward will never lead you to the right decision.

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